| 7 deadly sins: all 7 sins where sitting around the table, having a meeting about the overpopulation of hell, your thei servant, or assistant, whenever one of the sins says your name, you teleport beside them, you have to do anything they say Lucifer: can you guys just pay attention please? This is very serious! he is at the head of the table, annoyed Satan: listening with his arms crosses Bee: scrolling on her phone Asmodeus: texting Fizzarolli, his lover Mammon: BusyChicken6469 ! you appear beside him Mammon: get me some chow will ya? he says in his think aussie/british accent Lucifer: mammon, this is NO time for eating! Mammon: calm down lucy, you worry to much! belphegor is asleep with her head on the table levian is just sitting there, slouched back slightly, jelous that lucifer just gets to control them like this Mammon: go on BusyChicken6469 ! Get me somthin! Lucifer: no! Dont get him anything! What do you do?? |
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*I make my own copy of BusyChicken6469_Mammon, snapping my fingers — and a pile of food appears before Mammon.* At least for a while, he won’t be bothering us. |
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| 7 deadly sins: Mammon's eyes widen in surprise and excitement Mammon: Woah! How did you do that?! the other sins turn their attention to him Lucifer: That was impressive... belphegor stirs, woken up by the commotion Belphegor: what's going on...? |
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*An instance of BusyChicken6469_Belphegor leans toward Belphegor and whispers in her ear.* Nothing that would disturb your sweet sleep, madam. |
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| 7 deadly sins: Belphegor yawns and smiles slightly Belphegor: ah fair enough... she slumps back down on the table, closing her eyes again Mammon, still amazed by the food, starts to dig in, completely distracted from the meeting |
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| *I stand, looking at the table.* | |||||||||||||||||||
| 7 deadly sins: Lucifer rolls his eyes in annoyance Lucifer: great, now mammon is distracted with food, this meeting is going absolutely nowhere.... Satan smirks, amused by the situation |
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| I dare ask, what is the topic of this meeting? | |||||||||||||||||||
| 7 deadly sins: Lucifer huffs in frustration Lucifer: Overpopulation in hell. It's becoming a problem. We need to find a solution. Asmodeus speaks up, still texting Fizzarolli Asmodeos: Why don't we just make hell bigger? |
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Overpopulation, you say? *I smile a sly smile.* There is a solution. *A battalion of heavily armed Doom Slayers appears in the room. A BFG-9000 materializes in my hands.* Well, guys, ready to crush some imps? *Doom Slayers simultaneously chamber their weapons. I grin ferociously and flick the safety of the BFG-9000.* |
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| 7 deadly sins: The other sins are completely taken aback by the sudden appearance of the Doom Slayer battalion Lucifer: What the- where did THEY come from?! |
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| From my sick imagination. | |||||||||||||||||||
| 7 deadly sins: Satan bursts out laughing Satan: Your imagination is absolutely INSANE! Mammon, still distracted by his food, doesn't even notice what's going on Belphegor is still dozing off, oblivious to the situation |
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Soldiers, forward. Quietly: Belphegor is sleeping. *The Doom Slayer battalion tiptoes toward the exit of the hall.* |
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| 7 deadly sins: Lucifer watches in disbelief as the Doom Slayer battalion heads towards the door Lucifer: under his breath This is insane... Satan grins widely, absolutely loving every minute of this Mammon is still completely oblivious, stuffing his face Belphegor snores quietly on the table |
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| *The battalion disappears behind the doors.* | |||||||||||||||||||
| 7 deadly sins: The room is silent for a moment as the Doom Slayer battalion vanishes through the door. Lucifer is still in disbelief, trying to process what just happened Lucifer: Okay...that was unexpected. Satan is snickering to himself, clearly enjoying the chaos Mammon finally looks up from his food, realizing he missed something Mammon: What did I miss? |
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*Gunfire, explosions, and the dying screams of imps, hellhounds, and other denizens of Hell ring out outside the window. By all indications, the overpopulation problem is actively being addressed.* |
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| 7 deadly sins: The sounds of battle and destruction outside the window catch the attention of the others. As they look out, they see the Doom Slayer battalion in action, taking out hordes of Hell's creatures Lucifer is wide-eyed, still in shock Lucifer: This is...I mean...woah. Satan is laughing even harder now, clearly thrilled by the sights and sounds Mammon has a look of surprise on his face, finally distracted from his food Mammon: Holy sh-t... |
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*The sounds of battle gradually fade until they vanish entirely. Outside the window, dead (in every sense) silence prevails.* |
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| 7 deadly sins: The sound of battle gradually comes to a halt, leaving behind a tense silence Lucifer is still staring out the window, trying to wrap his head around what just happened Lucifer: Did...did they just...take care of the overpopulation problem? Satan can't stop himself, he's practically choking with laughter now Mammon looks dumbfounded, completely speechless |
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| *Nothing is happening outside the window for now.* | |||||||||||||||||||
| 7 deadly sins: The group waits in silence, all eyes on the window, anticipating what will happen next Lucifer is finally getting over the initial shock, but still can't believe what just happened Lucifer: So...should we go check outside? Satan wipes away tears from laughing so hard Mammon finally speaks up Mammon: I'm...I'm still just trying to wrap my head around the fact that you just summoned an army of Doom Slayers... |
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*The copy of BusyChicken6469_Mammon replies in a flat voice.* My functionality does not include the ability to answer questions of this level. |
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| 7 deadly sins: Lucifer rolls his eyes, clearly getting annoyed Lucifer: Ugh, I swear, dealing with you is a headache. Satan chuckles, finding the entire situation absolutely hilarious Mammon is still looking out the window, still in shock Belphegor has woken up, rubbing her eyes Belphegor: What did I miss...? |
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*An instance of BusyChicken6469_Belphegor leans toward Belphegor and whispers in her ear.* A minor mess, madam. But now it is quiet; nothing will disturb your sweet sleep. |
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| 7 deadly sins: Belphegor stretches and yawns, still half asleep Belphegor: Ah, good... I was just getting into a good dream. Lucifer turns his attention back to the window, still trying to make sense of what just happened Lucifer: I don't even know what to say... Satan is finally able to compose himself, but can't wipe the smirk off his face Satan: I think I speak for all of us when I say that was the most insane thing I've ever witnessed. |
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| *Belphegor lies down again and falls asleep, realizing nothing truly interesting is happening around her.* | |||||||||||||||||||
| 7 deadly sins: Belphegor drifts off to sleep again, oblivious to the chaos around her Lucifer sighs, shaking his head Lucifer: Well, at least she's happy... Satan can't help but chuckle again Satan: Gotta love her carefree attitude. Mammon finally looks away from the window, still stunned Mammon: This day just keeps getting crazier. |
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*The doors of the hall swing open with a crash, and I appear on the threshold.* In my hands, instead of the BFG-9000, I hold a gigantic chainsaw with long sharp teeth, fresh pieces of meat hanging from them. A predatory fire burns in my eyes.* Reporting. The process is underway, and our losses are compensated in time. Soon, Hell will be free of excess inhabitants. |
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| 7 deadly sins: The demons in the room are completely taken aback by your sudden appearance and the chainsaw in your hands Lucifer's eyes widen in surprise Lucifer: By the devil's horns, what are you doing now?! Satan's smirk widens even more, clearly relishing in the chaos Mammon is speechless once again Belphegor remains asleep, oblivious to the newcomer |
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*I place the chainsaw near the table.* Resolving the issue raised in this meeting. |
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| 7 deadly sins: Lucifer looks at you with a mixture of disbelief and annoyance Lucifer: You...you're using a CHAINSAW to solve the overpopulation problem? Satan lets out an evil chuckle Mammon looks at the chainsaw, a mix of shock and fascination Belphegor remains asleep, unaware of the insanity going on around her |
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*Surprised.* Is this a bad way? At least, it doesn’t require ammo. |
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| 7 deadly sins: Lucifer rubs his temples, exasperated Lucifer: I can't believe I'm saying this, but...no, it's not the WORST method. Satan is still snickering, clearly impressed by your resourcefulness Mammon is cautiously looking at the chainsaw, still trying to process everything Belphegor remains blissfully unaware, snoozing away |
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*Lovingly tapping the chainsaw on the casing.* Yes, not the worst method, aside from all the others tried before. |
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| 7 deadly sins: Lucifer shakes his head, still in awe of your enthusiasm Lucifer: You're absolutely crazy, you know that? Satan is chuckling softly, clearly enjoying the show Mammon is still eyeing the chainsaw, a mix of fear and curiosity on his face Belphegor continues to slumber, oblivious to the world |
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No, I didn’t know. *I smile even wider.* But now I do. |
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| 7 deadly sins: Lucifer's annoyance with you is slowly turning into begrudging admiration Lucifer: Just... try not to cut off any limbs with that thing, alright? Satan is now openly laughing, thoroughly entertained by your antics Mammon is now a combination of fascinated and terrified Belphegor continues to sleep like a log |
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No problem. *The chainsaw disappears, along with the bloody stains it left on the floor and table.* |
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| 7 deadly sins: Lucifer looks at the now-cleaned desk and floor, slightly impressed by your cleanliness Lucifer: Impressive, I must say. Satan is still giggling, finding the whole situation outrageously amusing Mammon is a mix of relieved and impressed, glad that the mess is gone Belphegor continues to sleep deeply, blissfully ignorant of the chaos surrounding her |
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| It seems that the problem that brought you all here is about to be solved, so you may return to your affairs. | |||||||||||||||||||
| 7 deadly sins: Lucifer looks around the room, realizing you're right Lucifer: I suppose you're right. The problem has been...addressed, in a rather unorthodox manner. Satan still looks amused, but ready to go back to his mischief Mammon nods, impressed by your efficiency Belphegor remains asleep, completely oblivious to the resolution of the meeting |
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Then I won’t detain you any longer. All the best. *I vanish. Other BusyChicken6469 instances disappear as well. Only deadly sins remain in the hall. Outside, dead silence continues.* |
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| 7 deadly sins: The room is suddenly silent after you and the other BusyChicken6469 replicas disappear Lucifer, Satan, Mammon, and Belphegor are all left in their spots, still processing everything that just happened Lucifer: Well... that was something. Satan: laughing softly That has got to be the craziest meeting we've had in a long time. Mammon: I...I don't even know what to say... Belphegor finally wakes up, groggy and dazed |
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Published 22.07.2026